They say men are simple.

Simple in desires. Simple in expectations. They prefer women without makeup, without tattoos, without piercings. They don’t need much just love, peace, and loyalty. That’s what we’re told. That’s what we believe growing up. But if men are truly this simple and emotionally grounded, then why are so many women left picking up the pieces of their broken trust?

I say this not out of hate but from a space of deep emotional exhaustion. My idea of men came from the most beautiful source my father. He was the calmest soul I’ve ever known. I grew up watching my parents share a bond that was pure, gentle, and full of mutual respect. He never once raised his hand. In fact, he never even raised his voice. I saw love in its most silent and sincere form. So naturally, I believed all men were like him. I believed love was as gentle as the home I came from.

But life proved me wrong. Brutally wrong.

As I grew up, I met men who shattered every bit of that image. Men who manipulated emotions like a game, who cheated without guilt, who flirted with no boundaries, who forced themselves without consent, who thought dominance was their birthright. And in that very moment, the “simplicity” of men turned into a dangerous myth. I’ve seen the charming ones turn out to be predators. I’ve had conversations with men who proudly speak about having “options” while being committed. I’ve witnessed marriages fall apart because a husband decided he couldn’t be “limited” to one woman anymore.

And yet, we’re expected to not judge. We’re told not all men are like that. But let me ask you how many “good ones” do we actually meet? How often do we see men who are loyal not just in presence, but in thought, in intention, in energy?

We live in a time where it’s somehow normal for married men to hang out with multiple women, where fathers spend more time on dating apps than with their kids. Is this the generation of men we’re calling “emotionally mature”? What example are you setting for your sons? For your daughters? When you normalize cheating, aggression, and disrespect at home, what kind of humans are you raising?

People often say “true love still exists.” But where? Is it hiding in fairytales or dying in courtrooms over custody battles? I’ve seen children suffer silently in toxic households, caught in the crossfire of their parents’ immaturity. And every time I see this, my heart breaks. Because no child deserves to learn that love is pain, that trust is a lie, or that relationships are temporary games of convenience.

Yes, not all men are predators, but why are we seeing more predators than protectors? Why are the gentle ones so hard to find? Or are they just hiding, afraid of being mocked in a world that glorifies toxic masculinity?

And I’m not afraid to say this—I’ve lost interest. I’ve lost trust. The thought of love now feels heavy, not comforting. Because even in relationships, we’re left wondering, “Is he really loyal?” “Does he really mean what he says?” “Or is there someone else he’s texting goodnight?”

We don’t crave perfection. We crave presence. Consistency. Commitment. Connection. But maybe those things are outdated now. Maybe monogamy has become a joke and self-respect is the price you pay to stay in love.

Some might say I’m bitter. Maybe. But I’m also aware. And awareness is not hate it’s healing.

So here’s a question to the men reading this:
Do you realize what your actions are teaching the world about love?
Do you know how many women gave up on relationships because of the damage you didn’t even acknowledge?

And to the women:
When did we start settling for so little? Why do we let emotional abuse hide behind the excuse of “boys will be boys”?

I’m still holding on to a sliver of hope that someone, somewhere out there knows what it means to love like my father did. But until then, I’ll keep raising my voice, writing my truth even if it stings.

Because maybe, just maybe, someone out there is thinking the exact same thing. And they need to know they’re not alone.